4 Easy Parenting Tips for Taming the Dog Days of Summer

We are several weeks into summer here in Charlotte, and like every year that brings both the good and the bad.  Children are full of joy as they stay up late catching fire flies and eating s’mores with friends.  Parents relish the break from packing lunches and pestering kids to get homework done.  In our family, though, summer also means long hot days and grouchy children who utter the words “I’m bored” way more than I would like to admit.

During the school year the routine is clear, and the schedules are set.  Everyone knows where they need to be and what their responsibilities are.  With summer, comes a break from that monotony, but the lack of structure can also bring chaos.  If you have noticed that your kids are grouchy and restless (like mine) the following tips are for you.

Create a Schedule

Many families enjoy taking a week or two off from the routine of the year as everyone adjusts to summer,  but before long, the lack of a routine can become more stressful than fun.  If your family is struggling with this problem, consider creating a schedule.  Literally, get out a paper and pencil, and then start with deciding what time is reasonable for your kids to get up.  From there, the schedule can be looser than during the school year, but remember that even a little structure adds stability.  Do the kids go to camp every day? Add the drop off and pick up times.  Do they have a daily swim practice?  Add that in. Do you have an expectation that they will do certain chores or only be on screens a certain amount of time?  Make this clear in the schedule.   It is also okay to add times for unscheduled down time.  Once you have come up with a plan, get feedback from your family members and adjust it as needed.  Then,  get out some tape and post it in the kitchen.  Visual children really benefit from being able to see the plan for the day and knowing what comes next.

Consider Adding a Few Extra Chores

If your kids have been complaining about not having enough to do consider adding a few extra responsibilities over the summer.  One mom I was speaking with recently came up with a list of different household chores, wrote them on slips of paper and placed them in a jar.  Each morning her children pick out two things that they need to get done during “chore time.”  Keep the chores developmentally appropriate and use the first week to help teach them the skills they need to do the job.  If you want to increase buy-in you might include the kids in a trip to the store to get the supplies they will need.  Take time to show them how to do the job and problem solve any issues that may come up. As they learn these new skills, be sure to give them lots of praise for a job well done. As kids learn new skills and take responsibility around the house they become more independent and better prepared for being competent adults.

Limit Screen Time

Once your kids have completed their chores and have taken care of their basic needs like eating breakfast, getting dressed for the day, and brushing their teeth, they might earn some screen time.  But be careful about letting summer become a time for screens without limits. If your child can get on a tablet for an hour and then easily put it down to go outside with a friend you are probably in a good place. If, however, your child is spending multiple hours in a row glued to Fortnite and then becomes irritable when it is time to shut it off, you might need to set some limits.  Try to find balance by encouraging your children to spend at least as much time outside as they do in front of their screens. Don’t be afraid to make this very clear by adding it to the schedule.  Although they may push back the first few days,  remember that kids are very used to adjusting to clear limits and routines.  This is one of the reason why many kids can behave at school but then fall apart when they get home.  If your child is constantly glued to his or her cell phone click here for ideas for how to set up limits around this device.

Prioritize Sleep

Although summer days can be lazy and carefree, it is important to remember that a tired kid is usually a grouchy kid.  If your kids tend to stay up later in the summer, adjust the time they wake up accordingly.  If you have a kid that wakes up early no matter what you try, consider keeping their school year bedtime in place and only making exceptions for special events like the Fourth of July or family cook outs that run late.  Likewise, if there are weeks when your child has to wake up early for practice or for camps make sure they are getting to bed earlier.  Remember that good sleep hygiene is just as important as buying healthy foods and applying sunscreen.  If you have trouble prioritizing bedtime, remind yourself that while children sleep their bodies reboot.  Consistent sleep has been shown to increase memory, increase attention, increase IQ, and decrease stress and anxiety.  An added bonus is that if you can get them to bed early, you get a little adult time yourself.

These tips are a starting point for making healthy, happy memories this summer with your children.  If you feel like you could use some extra support improving structure in your home, I would be happy to work with you.  I offer one-on-one parenting support sessions as well as individual therapy for children and adolescents in Charlotte, NC, and I am currently accepting new clients.  If you’d like more information about my services you can click here.