IFS Therapy for Adults, Children, and Couples in Charlotte, NC
You’ve read books and listened to podcasts and you know how important it is to parent from a place of calm and connection. But each time your child has a meltdown you hear that familiar shark music in your head as your mind fills with fears about whether her emotions are too extreme and her disrespect has gone too far. In those moments you find yourself raising your voice, threatening your child, and losing your temper. And as the dust settles shame sets in. This isn’t the kind of parenting you want to do but you are at a loss because it seems like nothing else works.
It’s almost like there is an internal battle between the part of you that is committed to parenting mindfully and the part of you that feels like if you don’t raise your voice your child is going to walk all over you. As a result you find yourself struggling to be consistent because you never know which part will take over in the moment.
IFS For Parents
Internal Family Systems is a therapy approach that recognizes that all of us are made up of many different parts. Parts that feel joy and crave connection, parts that are terrified of failing, parts that push us to give 110%, and parts that thrive on feeling in control. When we are parenting and something our child does leads us to react with intense emotions it means a hurting part has taken over. On the other hand, when our parts settle all of us also have access to the wisdom of our highest Self. IFS therapy will allow you to do the deeper work of exploring your triggers so that you can heal these young parts of yourself and begin parenting from Self.
Clients who work with me build their ability to “internally parent” themselves so that they are able to heal their inner child. After doing this work clients find they are better able to parent with intention and to respond to their children rather than reacting with big emotions. Check out this blog post for a few quick tips that will positively impact your relationship with your child.
Why Self Led Parenting Matters
IFS For Children
Amanda Zaidman also uses IFS techniques in child and adolescent therapy. When children are able to recognize that “a part of them is angry” or a “part of them is worried” they can learn how to help that part settle and feel safe. As parents and children begin to embrace these concepts and this language children learn an invaluable life skill that allows them slow down and notice what they are feeling so that they can attend to themselves instead of ignoring their feelings or lashing out at others.
IFS For Couples – Intimacy From The Inside Out
Before having kids you felt more connected to your partner. You are still a team but now your primary roles are Mom and Dad instead of Husband and Wife. Between all the responsibilities of raising a family, maintaining a household, and holding down a job you find you have very little left for your partner. Or maybe your struggle is that even though you have the same values you can’t see eye to eye on which parenting approach to use with your kids. Amanda Zaidman specializes in IFIO therapy (IFS couples work) for couples who want to get on the same page and rekindle their emotional connection.
IFS Therapy in Charlotte, NC
Constructive Parenting, PLLC is proud to offer Internal Family Systems therapy for adults and children and Intimacy From the Inside Out therapy for couples in North Carolina. If you are not a parent but you are interested in doing IFS work with Amanda please reach out for support with reparenting your inner child. Amanda Zaidman, LCSW, is a Certified IFS, Level 3 trained therapist, who is also trained in IFIO. Our Charlotte location is convenient to Cotswold, Foxcroft, Southpark, Dilworth, Myers Park and Eastover. We also offer virtual sessions which means if you live in Raleigh, Durham, Winston Salem, Greensboro, Wrightsville, Asheville or anywhere else in the state we can work together to reach your therapeutic goals.
