Your child is upset and your not sure how to handle it.

Your daughter has questions and your not sure what to say.  She wants to know about her birth mother and about whether she has biological brothers or sisters.  You catch her staring in the mirror analyzing her face for the answers you don’t have.   When she gets in trouble she lashes out at you screaming “You don’t really want me anyway! Maybe you should just send me back!” and you feel each of her words like a dagger in your heart.

Or perhaps you are an adult adoptee who has just found the courage to explore your story.

In the adoption world this is sometimes referred to as “coming out of the fog.”  If you are looking for a safe space to understand the complicated impact of adoption and you are ready to consider healing the wounds these complications have caused, you have come to the right place.

Adoption is complicated.

Everyone loves to talk about the joy adoption brings as a new family is created but the reality is that adoption can also bring up difficult emotions. There may be the pain of infertility, child loss and biological parent loss.  I specialize in child development and I help parents tease out which behaviors are specifically related to adoption and which are typical phases that most children go through. I understand that these issues are tough to talk about and I create a supportive space where family members can open up.  I also work with adult adoptees who are ready to explore how adoption has impacted their lives.

I get it and I can help.

On a personal note, I was internationally adopted as an infant from South America and I was raised in a family and community  where my skin color made me unique.  As a therapist, I have extensive experience working with children in the foster care system who were in the process of reunification or adoption.  I have helped children process their stories with life books and through play therapy.  I have supported teens as they explore what it means to be separated from everyone who is biologically related to them.  I have also worked with couples who have struggled with infertility and have chosen to grow their family through adoption. I have built expertise in adoption because I care deeply for the families who go through this process.  I feel strongly that every parent and every child deserves a chance to feel connected by unconditional love and it is my goal to provide a space for healing so that this can be your family’s reality.

I would love to support your family.

Relevant Specialized Training

• Amanda has completed CASE’s Training for Adoption Competency certificate program, which is a 72 hour course.
• Amanda has also completed Brooke Randolph’s Brainspotting with Adoption Specialty Training, a 22.5 hour course.
•    

Looking for Quick Tips To Strengthen Your Relationship With Your Adopted Child?

Podcasts are a great resource for adoptive parents and one Podcast I love is The Adoption Connection.  In this episode they explore the following ten tips for helping increase a child’s felt sense of safety.

1. Be attuned.
2. Name it to tame it.
3. Give voice.
4. Validate emotions.
5. Offer appropriate control.
6. Match arousal energy in a controlled way.
7. Stay playful.
8. Remain curious.
9. Be consistent.
10. Keep it concrete.
11. Less is more.
12. Speak your child’s Love Language.
13. Consider the Safe and Sound Protocol.

These suggestions are topics you can expect to cover if your family chooses to work with me.  The final suggestion on the list is using the Safe and Sound Protocol in order to connect with your child. I am trained as a Safe and Sound Provider and can help you decide if this protocol would be helpful for your child.

Constructive Parenting, PLLC provides therapy for all members of the adoption constellation in Charlotte, NC. We are conveniently located in Cotswold and also serve Eastover, Foxcroft, Southpark, Myers Park and Dilworth.  Virtual therapy and parenting support is also available to families anywhere in NC including Raleigh, Durham, Chapel Hill, Greensboro, Winston Salem, Asheville and Wrightsville.